The Conservation of Love
I have been thinking about the nature of love for sometime now, especially in this century that we are. The truth is rational people don't accept the proposition of love blindly. The truth is, there are specifications. The truth is we make choices based on perceptions and/or readily available evidence.
To love is to recognize a value or a potential. To love is to go all out to grow the potential or be the major recipient and multiplier of the value. Whatever that value or potential may be is personal to one.
Value to one might be beauty. Beauty of course is said to be relative, but take an undeniable physical beauty for example, it is a value that all may likely adore. To love this in a person and ask to be part of their life is to recognize their beauty and hope to be the major enjoyer of such value. Say another person doesn't look beautiful and a person named Peter recognises it as something that can be brought forth in such a person, Peter therefore sees beauty as a potential in the person.
Value to another may be economical and all things attached to it. Say Adam is Rich, to love him might be to love the fact that he is rich and he probably gives liberally. Say, Adam likes Sarah and pampers her with money while he is still wooing her. To take it further, Adam is not necessarily handsome. To love Adam in return would probably be a combination of different things with special consideration of his financial status. This puts love as a value. But let's have it that Adam isn't financially successful, he is not handsome but gives liberally. Oh, he also has prospects to be a financially successful person. To love him will be to put all this into consideration before agreeing to be a part of his life. This puts love as a potential.
You can have many other examples and specifications; intelligence (emotional and mental), perceived Spirituality, Cooking skills, love making skills and other nuances and necessities that make us humans. Of course it is not always cut simple in one reason/specification or the other in considering loving a person; you can have many specs wrapped up to make that decision to love or to stick with a person. We are not here to discuss the specifications. This article here is looking at love from a conservationistic standpoint. The decision to love a person and stick with that person. Let's get right to it.
Nobody has interest in nothing that has no value or potential, it is a fact of our lives. We want to be a part of something that interests us. If it doesn't interest us, we have nothing to do with it or we get easily bored by it. It is therefore necessary to first identify what interests us. It requires a lot of introspection and dedicated constant reminder of what we truly want.
As said earlier, I observe that we initiate love based on perceived potential or easily discernible value. This potential or value forms the basis of our decision to be in love with someone or not. While falling in love may not be instantaneous and seemingly illogical, more than a modicum of mental processes go into the development of the emotion and state called love. To love is to accept the result of these mental processes as valid. To initiate love by confessing it to the object of our love is to go with the result of the mental processes. When the other party accepts the proposal, well, events become set in motion.
The essence of this article is this; If the proposal to love is accepted because of a perceived potential, then there is a responsibility to oneself to grow that potential in the other person. If love is accepted with the observation of a value, then there is that responsibility to multiply the value, not just to enjoy and deplete it. As much as love needs to be initiated and accepted, it ought also to be conserved.
The hypothesis is that men fall in love because of a reason, therefore it is important to keep that reason alive. Not just to keep it alive, but to keep nourishing it so it may become a great experience for the parties involved. So, were you attracted to a person because of their beauty? Then to be responsible is to continue giving them reason to be beautiful. Did your proposal get accepted because you are rich? Own it and induct the other person into wealth. Other person too needs to help grow the said wealth, such that when one was chasing thousands, two will make millions.
Did you accept his proposal because he is intelligent beside other considerations? Continue to support his quest and display of intelligence. Intelligence responds well to simplicity, trust and an open minded attitude. You don't get pricked and insulted when they are flexing their brains. You trust them not to willfully cast you down, which also means you learn how they talk and think to better understand them. Before you know it, you get rubbed off on.
By these, the love state is being conserved.
This is the introduction to a series. I hope to have your attention again soon.